The RNC is calling for a fight against the College Board’s new framework for Advanced Placement U.S. History, claiming that it “deliberately distorts and/or edits out important historical events,” Education Week reports.

A resolution adopted by the GOP says the new framework “reflects a radically revisionist view of American history that emphasizes negative aspects of our nation’s history while omitting or minimizing positive aspects.”

“Not everybody needs to go to Yale. I don’t know about you guys, but I went to a regular ol’ Kentucky college. And some people would say I’ve done okay.”

— Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), quoted by the Huffington Post, on the solution to soaring college tuition.

“Pressure on the state’s top school official to resign continued to mount Monday as more anonymous blog posts from John Huppenthal (R) emerged. Using an online alias, the superintendent of public instruction posted several comments on a conservative-leaning website calling for no Spanish language in the state,” KTVK reports.

Wrote Huppenthal: “We all need to stomp out balkanization. No Spanish radio stations, no Spanish billboards, no Spanish TV stations, no Spanish newspapers. This is America, speak English.”

“These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I’m sorry to report that to you.”

— Florida state Rep. Charles Van Zant (R), quoted by Think Progress, warning that the Common Core education standards will turn children gay.

South Carolina lieutenant governor candidate Ray Moore (R) said that Christian parents should pull their children out of the “godless” and “pagan” public school system, the Huffington Post reports.

Said Moore: “We cannot win this war we’re in as long as we keep handing our children over to the enemy to educate.”

He added: “It cannot be fixed, the socialistic model, and we need to abandon that. As conservatives and Christians, if you think you’re going to win this war you’re in, and leave your children in those schools, it will not happen.”

Missouri House Appropriations committee chairman Mike Lair (R) appropriated $8 “for two rolls of high density aluminum to create headgear designed to deflect drone and/or black helicopter mind reading and control technology,” according to the Columbia Daily Tribune.

The money was tied to an amendment removing language barring the state from accepting federal grants to implement Common Core standards for public schools which some conservatives believe is President Obama’s attempt to indoctrinate children.

Explained Lair: “Basically, when you deal with conspiracy theorists, you do logic first… If you can’t deal with folks with logic, you use humor. This is to stop all the problems from the black helicopters and drones. This is high density foil.”

“A bill introduced by a Wichita lawmaker would ease some restrictions on spanking in Kansas, allowing parents, caregivers or school officials to hit children hard enough to leave redness or bruising,” the Witchita Eagle reports.

Rep. Gail Finney (D), “who introduced the bill, said it attempts to define corporal punishment, restore parental rights and protect parents who spank their children from being charged with child abuse.”

“We know we didn’t come from monkeys! Ladies and gentlemen, they’re using your tax dollars to brainwash our children into socialist issues and ideas and it is time for it to stop.”

— Texas Board of Education candidate Lady Theresa Thombs (R), quoted by the Dallas Observer, on science education.

Wonk Wire: Online master’s degrees could transform higher education.

“The idea of forcing children to attend school is outdated and should be scrapped in favor of a system that encourages learning by choice, state Sen. Aaron Osmond (R) said in calling for an end to compulsory education in Utah,” the AP reports.

“Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.”

— Michigan state Rep. Lisa Posthumus Lyons (R), quoted by the Detroit News, voicing opposition to a proposal that would offer employment assistance to staff members of closed schools.

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Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant (R) said that America’s educational troubles began when women began working outside the home in large numbers, the Washington Post reports.

In response to a question about how America became “so mediocre” in regard to educational outcomes, he said: “I think both parents started working. The mom got in the work place.”

“A Louisiana law that allows public school science teachers to use supplemental materials in their classrooms will remain on the books, despite criticism that it’s a back-door way to teach creationism,” the AP reports.

“It is not our job to see that anyone gets an education.”

— Oklahoma state Rep. Mike Reynolds (R), in an email exchange with state Rep. James Lockhart (D) who requested help from his
colleagues.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) plans to battle teacher unions again, this time over a plan to expand vouchers to nine school districts, the Madison Capital Times reports.

“And influential former GOP leaders are suiting up to lobby for Walker’s plan to make more public school districts offer a voucher option, in which parents can get state funds to help send their children to private schools.”

John Aravosis reports that voucher schools in Louisiana and Indiana are using a U.S. History textbook in their eighth grade classes that teaches that the “hippies” of the 1960s were draft dodgers who were rude, didn’t bathe, and worshipped Satan.

Tennessee state Sen. Stacey Campfield’s (R) new version of his “Classroom Protection Act” allows counseling of students on homosexuality, but calls for notification of a youth’s parents when counseling occurs, the Knoxville News-Sentinel reports.

The bill also prohibits in grades kindergarten through eight “classroom instruction, course materials or other informational resources that are inconsistent with natural human reproduction.”