Missouri to Buy Tin Foil Hats

Missouri House Appropriations committee chairman Mike Lair (R) appropriated $8 “for two rolls of high density aluminum to create headgear designed to deflect drone and/or black helicopter mind reading and control technology,” according to the Columbia Daily Tribune.

The money was tied to an amendment removing language barring the state from accepting federal grants to implement Common Core standards for public schools which some conservatives believe is President Obama’s attempt to indoctrinate children.

Explained Lair: “Basically, when you deal with conspiracy theorists, you do logic first… If you can’t deal with folks with logic, you use humor. This is to stop all the problems from the black helicopters and drones. This is high density foil.”