Prison Tips for Blagojevich

Former Missouri state Sen. Jeff Smith (D), who spent a year in federal prison as a result of campaign-finance violations, offers advice in the Chicago Tribune for ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) who enters prison today.

A few examples:

“Embrace your background, but don’t try to be a politician. The prison guards and administration will probably resent your presence, as it will mean added scrutiny on prison operations. Your charm will not work on them, so don’t try it. Instead, be as deferential as possible and try to blend in.”

“Don’t snitch, under any circumstances. The only people in prison who have it harder than child molesters are snitches. You need to learn how to see things (weapons, illegal drugs, people making hooch, pornography, etc) without seeing them; that is, learn to look away before anyone has seen you see the contraband.”

“Don’t eat the Snickers. You’ll go through orientation. You will be shown a mandatory sexual assault prevention video featuring a guy warning you not to eat the Snickers bar that may be waiting for you on your bed in your cell. (The actor ate the one left under his pillow, unwittingly signaling the predator who left it for him that he was ready and willing.) All the guys watching the video will laugh. But take the video’s message to heart: Don’t accept sweets from anyone.”