Former Missouri state Sen. Jeff Smith (D), who spent a year in federal prison as a result of campaign-finance violations, offers advice in the Chicago Tribune for ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) who enters prison today.

A few examples:

“Embrace your background, but don’t try to be a politician. The prison guards and administration will probably resent your presence, as it will mean added scrutiny on prison operations. Your charm will not work on them, so don’t try it. Instead, be as deferential as possible and try to blend in.”

“Don’t snitch, under any circumstances. The only people in prison who have it harder than child molesters are snitches. You need to learn how to see things (weapons, illegal drugs, people making hooch, pornography, etc) without seeing them; that is, learn to look away before anyone has seen you see the contraband.”

“Don’t eat the Snickers. You’ll go through orientation. You will be shown a mandatory sexual assault prevention video featuring a guy warning you not to eat the Snickers bar that may be waiting for you on your bed in your cell. (The actor ate the one left under his pillow, unwittingly signaling the predator who left it for him that he was ready and willing.) All the guys watching the video will laugh. But take the video’s message to heart: Don’t accept sweets from anyone.”

Ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) “has chosen prime time to deliver his final goodbye before heading to prison,” the Chicago Tribune reports.

A spokesman says Blagojevich will begin speaking at precisely 5:02 p.m. from outside his home — which would enable evening news programs to lead with his speech.

Tony Rezko, a former top fundraiser for ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D), was sentenced to 10 1/2 years in prison but will get credit for time he has already served, the AP reports.

“Rezko was convicted in 2008 of fraud, money laundering and plotting to squeeze $7 million in kickbacks from firms that wanted to do business with the state during Blagojevich’s tenure. The governor was arrested six months later and convicted this year on charges that included trying to sell or trade an appointment to President Barack Obama’s old Senate seat. He is set to be sentenced next month and is expected to get about 10 years.”

Notorious ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff reveals the tricks of the trade in an interview with 60 Minutes,
in which he discusses how he was able to exert so much influence over
lawmakers and the title of the book he would like to write, “The Idiot’s
Guide to Buying a Congressman.”

On how to seal the deal:
“When we would become friendly with an office and they were important to
us, and the chief of staff was a competent person, I would say or my
staff would say to him or her at some point, ‘You know, when you’re done
working on the Hill, we’d very much like you to consider coming to work
for us.’ Now the moment I said that to them or any of our staff said
that to ’em, that was it. We owned them.”

On whether subsequent reforms have helped: “The system hasn’t been cleaned up at all.”