Andy Borowitz: “In a public appeal for help, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh has asked if ‘anyone has seen’ a briefcase he accidentally left at a bar late last week.”

Jonathan Pie reports in a hilarious new video what many of us suspected all along: Boris Johnson is a liar.

This will almost certainly be the funniest thing you see today.

Game show contestants in a Saturday Night Live skit are given clues to try to identify which guests are Republicans.

Saturday Night Live unveiled a new cast member’s portrayal of former President Donald Trump last night.

Playbook: “It’s an uncanny likeness — better than any Trump impression we’ve seen — that captures not only his mannerisms and vocal tics, but his jigsaw-like thought pattern as he speaks. Expect to see a lot more of it — and for Trump to notice as 2024 approaches.”

Saturday Night Live returned for a new season and blasted Sen. Kyrsten Sinema right out of the gate.

Arizona Republic: “It wasn’t pretty, but it was pretty funny. The show portrayed Sinema as out of touch and against pretty much everything.”

“And it didn’t waste any time — it all happened in the cold open. If Sinema thought reportedly escaping from Washington to Arizona during the middle of a heated fight over important legislation involving a massive infrastructure bill would somehow keep her out of the public eye, it didn’t. At all.”

“What kind of spectacular prick do you have to be that everyone’s last request is ‘make sure that asshole isn’t at my funeral’?”

— Bill Maher, noting President Trump did not attend the funerals of important figures in both parties, such as Sen. John McCain, former first lady Barbara Bush, Rep. Elijah Cummings and Rep. John Lewis.

Comedian Sarah Cooper, who lip-syncs President Trump on social media, told the Los Angeles Times she gives much of the credit for her newfound success to “the writing, which is so good.”

Said Cooper: “Trump is an amazing comedy writer without realizing it. There were so many moments I was able to use. I put the video out within a few hours of him saying those words. A lot of people said they saw the parody before they saw the real thing, which made it not only good content but newsworthy.”

Desi Lydic watched Fox News for 48 hours straight to find out what “Obamagate” is all about.

Saturday Night Live’s opening sketch featured Brad Pitt played an unusually candid Dr. Anthony Fauci, reacting to and translating President Trump’s false statements about the coronavirus pandemic.

NBC’s Saturday Night Live took a barely-veiled shot at NBC News in the first moments of its cold open sketch this week when a C-SPAN voiceover noted that “some people” felt the first impeachment hearings were “lacking in pizzazz,” the Daily Beast reports.

With that in mind, the show presented a soap-opera version of the proceedings called “Days of Our Impeachment.” 

Saturday Night Live brought three GOP senators together on Meet the Press to demonstrate just how far the Republican Party will go to defend President Trump.

Bill Maher argued on his show last night that special counsel Robert Mueller created new legal precedents by refusing to recommend any charges against President Trump, pointing out that politicians will now have the green light to meet with foreign governments, invite them to hack opponents and break campaign finance laws.

He noted all Mueller had to do “is what people in the justice system do everyday — use the law to come to justice and not be so restricted by technicalities that the bad guys win.”

Said Maher: “That’s what law is — new precedents. It’s always evolving. You can’t indict a sitting president? It’s not in the Constitution. It’s not even a law, it’s a guideline. Like drinking wine with fish and not fucking your cousin.”

“You guys know that I’m a tactile politician, right? I’m a hugger, I’m a kisser, and I’m a little bit of a sniffer. The last thing I ever want to do is offend anyone.”

Saturday Night Live mocked President Trump’s declaration of a national emergency, suggesting the decision was just part of a master plan to escape the confines of the presidency.

Trump hit back on Twitter asking,”How do the Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution? Likewise for many other shows? Very unfair and should be looked into. This is the real Collusion!”

Pete Davidson appeared on the “Weekend Update” segment of Saturday Night Live to apologize to veteran and congressman-elect Dan Crenshaw (R-TX), and this time he brought Crenshaw with him.

Said Davidson: “The man is a war hero and he deserves all of the respect in the world. And if any good came of this, maybe it was that for one day the left and the right finally came together to agree on something — that I’m a dick.”