Trump’s Definitive Ranking of Sexy Male Candidates

“For decades now, Donald Trump has been keeping Americans informed about the relative attractiveness of various celebrities and public officials,” New York Magazine reports.

“While the former beauty-pageant proprietor claims to have particular expertise in female aesthetics, he has worked to diversify his objectification.”

“Now, Trump has expanded this important service by opining on the handsomeness of various Republican midterm candidates, often right to their face. And rather than simply branding these men ‘hot’ or ‘not,’ the president is offering detailed analysis, from the appeal of their general build to the muscle tone of their butt.”