A Recap of a Surreal Midterm Convention

Alexandra Petri: “If only the GOP midterm convention succeeds in its aim of electing Donald Trump president, things will get a lot better in this country. Isn’t he already president? Hush! At the Unprecedented (But Very President-ed) Republican Midterm Convention, we reject such trivial objections! ‘I know many of you are still struggling thanks to Joe Biden and the Democrats,’ said Richard Hudson, the National Republican Committee chair.”

“You have your orders: Imagine that Donald Trump is on the ballot, because if he were, the economy would get a lot better than it is under whoever is president right now—I have to assume Biden? But possibly, based on sheer volume of mentions, Abdul El-Sayed? Whoever it is, the guy is doing just terribly.”

“Donald Trump has already fixed everything, but also, we need him to fix everything. He is the greatest president in our lifetime, if we can ever manage to elect him.”